There was a box on the doorstep again today. There’s always a box on the doorstep at our place.
Mrs ClubDes is addicted to one of those websites that offer great deals for just one day. You know the ones, how could you not, they’re fucken everywhere. Why even Trade me have started one now too, because having you buy a garage load of second hand tat just isn’t enough for them it would seem.
These sites tap into a distinctly Kiwi bit of our subconscious; that we’re getting a bargain and on that particular day and that particular item, we are. Because we love the bargain, the mate’s rate, the cashie and hey, if it’s fallen off the back of the truck then it probably wasn’t meant to be there in the first place.
Me misses loves a two for one bargain too, especially at the supermarket. Now I do my fair share of the grocery shopping and not just because I’m a metro sexual man, but because I hate the thought of spending more than we really need to. When I go shopping we get everything we need and under budget. When she indoors does it we get double what we need and we’re over budget. Her theory being that we’ll save money next week. We never do.
Now I was quite shit at Economics at school because let’s be honest, it’s a shit subject. Coops and I did it because it sounded like manly subject, did Economics, but it was a waste of a year in terms of learning anything. In terms of a laugh it was epic because we had a teacher who was well worth a wind up just to get a reaction.
He was a small man so that straight away meant the duster went to the top of the board at the start of class, every time. The hilarity of him having to jump to reach it with his finger tips never got old. He was the kind of guy who I always suspected would be quite the fella to know out of class, but a stickler for shattering dreams in it.
He did have our respect on one hand though; he was reportedly playing economies of scale with the good looking economics teacher who was well high on our list of teachers we’d let take advantage of us if they were so inclined. It was a short list.
So how I came to be good with money is a mystery. I suspect my mother has something to do it because she spent it like nobody’s business. Had there been a One Day Sale or Trade Me back in the day she would have kept both sites running. She would buy bulk everything, even if we didn’t need it simply because it was bulk, so it had to be cheaper. Right?
Wrong motherfucker, as I said to my mother several times. Well, not really, but I was thinking it. The one day sales and two for ones work because they entice you to buy something you wouldn’t have. Yes it might be a bargain but you weren’t really looking for it so the sneaky buggers have taken your money without even really trying.
Still, at least it’s not Royal Wedding rubbish which has really cranked up production with the big day only a week away. Are you sick of it yet? I wonder if when they get to that bit in the service when the dude calls for anyone who sees any reason for them not wed some bugger stands up and shouts “Yes, ‘cause we’re fucken over it already!”
Kate Middleton is a good looking girl though and in terms of the Monarchy she is definitely bring sexy back. She looks great on a pizza too which is not something you can say about every girl. There’s even the Kate and Wills teabags which is great for those who have ever wanted to be tea bagged by a couple and not forgetting the Princess Kate doll too, of course, which must have the sexual deviants whipping out their ten quid and willy all in one swift movement.
Actually, I wonder if I can get one of those on One Day Sale...?
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