Any Which Way But Libya

There's a lot of heavy shit going down in Libya, you may have noticed.

The natives are uprising against the oppressive ruler Muammar Gaddafi who has been King Dick round those parts since 1969, the very same year me and the Recon lads were finishing up in Vietnam. But more on that coinkidink a little further on.

Gaddafi always looks so comical to me, almost as if he’s not real. He swans around in his magnificent sarongs and uniforms like a raging poof and going from the images of the interior decorating he had going on his Palatial Palaces that the rebels have recently liberated I don’t think I’m far from wrong.

All genocide jokes aside though Gaddafi is a bad ass and not in the cool Samuel L Jackson sense of the term. Aside from all the death and suffering the guy has reigned over he’s a complete douche as best described by this passage from wankipedia:

By his own estimation, Gaddafi considers himself an intellectual and philosopher. He is known for a flamboyant dress sense, with a strong taste for safari suits and sunglasses. He changes his clothing several times each day, and according to his former nurses, "enjoys surrounding himself with beautiful things and people." He hired several nurses to care for his health, all of whom were beautiful young Ukrainian women.

Since the 1980s he has travelled with his Amazonian Guard, which is all-female, and reportedly is sworn to a life of celibacy (although Dr Seham Sergheva reported in 2011 that some of them were subjected to rape and sexual abuse by Gadaffi, his sons and senior officials).

In 2009, it was revealed that he does not travel without his trusted Ukrainian nurse Halyna Kolotnytska, noted as a "voluptuous blonde". Halyna's daughter denied the suggestion that the relationship is anything but professional. Gaddafi frequently made sexual advances on female journalists, and successfully bedded a few in exchange for interviews.

Gaddafi's former aides have said he is "obsessive" about his image. He gave gold watches with images of his face to his staff as gifts. In 2011, a Brazilian doctor told the Associated Press that he performed plastic surgery on Gaddafi in 1995 to avoid appearing old to the Libyan people.

So all power to the people I say, lets knock the bastard off. And I do love seeing the rebels on TV firing their various ordinances in the air in celebration. It does slightly amuse me though that they never once give thought to where that bullet or rocket propelled grenade is going to land but hey, what’s a couple of deaths by friendly fire when you’ve had over 30 years of brutal oppression aye?

I do have just the one criticism and as a former military man myself I feel qualified to make it of these guys:

Who despite risking their life for their country have no idea about functional footwear in the war zone; sandals on an anti aircraft gun goddammit? And Rambo in the front is sporting that bandolier of ammo in such a way that I just know he's going to fuck it up for everybody the moment he needs to drop some rock'n'roll on the Amazonian Guard. What a rookie.

These guys wouldn’t last two minutes in HotDamnVietnam. And how do they tell each other apart if they’re all wearing civvies? At least Charlie had the decency to wear black pajamas in 1969…

The only gay in the village...?