Secrets of The Inner Sanctum

One of the occasional tasks that I have to fulfill as a Grand Master of the ClubDes Mojo Dojo is that I need to explain to new grasshoppers just how the Inner Sanctum works.

One recent disciple and converted day walker – let’s call him Blood Fang because it’s only marginally less silly than his real name – questioned the hierarchy. I wouldn’t usually detail this to outsiders but I think I’m amongst friends here so just this once, I will.

Those not familiar with the martial arts should note that a Gi (pronounced Gee) is the garment worn by the ninja who you will never ever see, even though that there are four in the room watching you read this, right now. It should not be confused with a ‘g’ which is a female undergarment sometimes worn by the ninja, but only ever backwards, as a form of self flagellation for straying from the path of pure thought.

Let us then begin, young Fang.

The Inner Sanctum protects me; ClubDes the White from outsiders who would seek to take the short path to the spiritual enlightenment that I have reached. This can best be illustrated thus:

Despite the ‘shoulder to shoulder’ nature of this ancient drawing, do not be fooled Blood Fang; for my spiritual plane is light years above yours and so long as you continue to self pleasure yourself it shall remain a plateau you will forever stare up at it.

The allure of the White Gi and the all round bad ass-ness that it carries appeals to many but few have the plums to even begin to even understand what town to visit to find the street with the house that has the winding path that leads to the door that opens into the hallway that is the path to whiteness.

You have done well young Blood Fang to even reach the level of the Red Gi. Cannon fodder you and your brothers may be, yet you have reached the beginning of a period in your life that spiritually is that so inconsequential that it is consequential.

Naturally you will ask yourself if this is to be your destiny. Instead ask yourself this: Does the naked man fear pick pockets? Does one light a torch to see the sun? Does the weary traveler still find the energy for a wristy at the end of the long day?

Keep walking this path and you may yet find yourself amongst the pantheon of the Black Ninja. Then we shall stand back to back as brothers but only in promotional material. Heed my warning though; many have tried but too few have succeeded. Much anal retention is required before one can truly be black.

Or white.