Inside The Sanctum: Daniel Vettori

Showing posts with label Daniel Vettori. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

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Noshow the White: Not much is known about the man they call Noshow and what little we do know is surrounded in Government secrecy, myth, legend and shit that’s just been plain made up. Noshow was born an infant and raised as a small child that much we can confirm. From there his life was a whirlwind of rural farm life, fluent jive talking on the mean streets of Naenae, extensive martial arts training and an ill timed and forgettable foray into interpretive dance. His early military records show that he flew sorties across war torn Europe in 1944 and completed at least three consecutive tours of Vietnam as part of a LRRP team where he learnt life long lessons in survival techniques, like drinking ones own urine. Something he still does to this day, not because he has to, just because he likes the taste. Recently he resurfaced, assuming a life of domestic bliss and revolutionising the world of girls football coaching. Whatever the real truth is we may never know, but one thing is for sure, inside the sanctum is the only place where you can learn more about the man behind the legend behind the rumor. And yes, he wrote this himself.

The Missus - She'll kick your arse like she does mine.

Junior - Sharper than his old man was or ever will be.

Els - the football prodigy

Bruiser - A man of few words.

Coops - Brother from another and our favourite man in uniform.

Lancey the Bleeck - harder than the Man of Steel he worships.

Chef the Khaki - Canada's finest chef / ninja.

Fang the Red - The Serbian assassin seeking enlightenment. And a payrise.

Almo - Gagging to be one day mistaken for Roger Federer

DougalMac - Man of notoriously low standards.