I'm just going to chuck something out there; I think there should be a Caucasian only music channel on TV. One that plays predominantly rock and maybe but other white folk music too, like alternative rock and hard rock or maybe even easy listening rock.
Now I don't doubt that Chris Brown and Usher aren't talented artists in their own right, when they're not ripping of each others songs, look and videos that is because they seem to do a lot of that, but I'm sick of seeing their faces - along with Rhianna and Nesian Mystic - every time I turn on a music channel. Thankfully there’s YouTube and alike to keep us, the majority that don’t dig Chris FitzUsher or Usher FitzChris, sane but it’s a sad day when a man has to interrupt his streaming online porn just to watch the latest Weezer vid.
If I really wanted to get rational about it all, I might argue with myself that the reason that the stations keep playing this shit is because the viewing demographic demands it. The fuck it does. I’m in the viewing demographic and I don’t. The top download on iTunes NZ at the moment is the Phil Collins classic ‘In the Air Tonight’ thanks to a bizarre – to say the least - TV ad. Last time I checked, Phil Collins was as white as my skinny arse so it just goes to show that there is an audience still out there gagging for a bit of classic rock and we all know there aint no party like a Phil Collins party.
While we’re at it - the Elemenop song that Telescum have raped for their latest round of bullshit has been erased from my play list too on account that I’d rather not have the mental images I now associate with that song. Shame, because it was a keeper and I really like them as a band. They let KFC kiddyfiddle one of their earlier hits too, the sell outs and they call themselves musicians? Jingle writers I think would be a better term. See The Beatles had the right idea in not letting anyone get their poo stained advertising hands on their back catalogue.
There was once a channel that catered for the majority of music fans, it was called MTV UK and it played its fair share of rock and whatever other types of music there are. This was real MTV too, not the dumbed down, browned out just-play-the-same-crap from the States version we have on our screens now. It was good in that it had specific periods where it played the different genres and you then knew when and where to watch if you wanted to see your favourite.
It also had the very rootable Cat Deeley as a VJ. She could have been playing Wiggles music videos and it wouldn't have mattered quite frankly because we were all just staring at her tits and luscious lady lips that we all imagined were wrapped around our remote.
Speaking of gorillas, Xin Xin the Panda was found safe and well this week, locked in a cupboard in an empty house 20 metres from her own. Does it seem weird to you that no one thought to look there five days earlier? It did to me but then I saw several of the residents of that extremely affluent street interviewed on the news and there wasn’t a Kiwi amongst them. I’m genuinely surprised they even stepped out of their houses to be interviewed let alone look for a missing panda. Why does every missing or abandoned Asian child have to have a nickname that sounds like an empty coke can rolling down the street? Why not try Lisa, Kate or Emma?
How unlikely is it that anyone having a boy in the next six months is going to call it Tony? Wife beater Veitch fell on his sword this week and possibly promptly packed himself when he heard that his ex has now filed a complaint with Police even after he paid her some serious hush money. Smart girl that, she got the money and the bag! But there’s still a chance for small man Veitch I reckon, he could co host with the Lion Man and they could share anecdotes on just how they like to smack their bitches up.
It’s a great country isn’t it?
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