The New Zealand football team is suffering from an identity crisis. Nobody at the NZFA can quite decided if the team should wear white, or the iconic black that the rest of the world instantly identifies as being a New Zealand sports team.
A few days ago the team donned all black and nearly upset the world champions Italy, (who rather ironically wore white on the night) only narrowly losing, on the score sheet at least, 3 – 4. Those of us that feel the team should always be clad in the achromatic rejoiced, not just because the score looked so good on paper, but because such a good performance was had whilst the lads were wearing the national colour; black. Not white.
Imagine our surprise then this morning to see that when lining up against the best team in the world presently, Spain, the NZFA reverted to white again. Admittedly it made for easy distinction between the two, aesthetically speaking, but the difference in skill was even easier to spot. Even if Sky TV didn't list who was who on screen like they do it would not difficult to figure out; we were down four goals in less than 25 minutes. It was like 1982 all over again.
That year was the one and only time NZ has ever qualified for the World Cup finals and it’s where the name ‘The All Whites’ was born. It was a gimmick thought up by the then manager John Adshead, an Englishman, to whip up some national support in a rugby mad country for the run into finals qualification. He figured a play on words might stick the same way ‘All Blacks’ always had with the national rugby team. It did and thus the nation got behind 11 predominantly ex pat Englishman in tight white tees and even tighter, shorter white shorts. One thing is for sure, nothing makes a pornstache stand out more on a part time Eighties footballer than a tightey whitey ensemble.
Off then to Spain, where the NZ contingent showed a lot of guts in their World Cup finals pool games and not just because their tops were skin tight. Ultimately though they were boys in a mans world - figuratively speaking - and were thrashed by everyone including the Scots. They returned home to a heroes welcome and the song the team had recorded before they left still riding high in the singles charts. Thankfully that little number soon died a natural death and so should have this ‘All Whites’ nonsense.
But like everything sporting in this country we like to hold onto and play on sentimentally. It’s the reason why we go into mourning every time a better prepared, better financed and bigger talent pool of a country beats us at rugby, the game we dominated for so long. And it’s the reason why a few fossils at the NZFA seem determined to miss out on the huge marketing potential that is the all black strip.
Every boy and girl in this country is raised on iconic images of glory that involved athletes dressed in black. The silver fern that adores such jerseys was always, well, silver and you don’t need to cut your ear off to know that silver looks better on black than it does on white. Other sporting codes know that, the NZFA seems oblivious to it.
A few years ago the NZFA changed its name and branding so that the term ‘soccer’ was replaced with ‘football’. It almost seemed as if the FA was coming of age and many hoped that the change to black would come with the new found maturity. It didn’t and instead the NZFA invested in a junior programme that it calls Small Whites. Smart play on words that.
About this time Nike came on board and what a laugh they’ve had at our expense. Ever since The Swoosh has adorned the breast the All Whites have worn white, gray, blue, black and a red and blue change number supposedly represented the union jack in the corner of our flag. I think it represented that Nike had finally found a use for it’s off cuts. Mercifully it was hardly ever worn in anger.
Instead of following the NZ Rugby Unions example by writing into their contract with adidas that the All Blacks strip was never to change, the NZFA have seemingly taken whatever Nike are prepared to churn out. Only recently has it started to entertain the fact that the players and the fans might like to see their team in the colour of the ninja. Even Ricky Herbert, the current national coach and survivor of the 82 experience favours the all black approach. The rest of the foot balling world, who only ever refers to the national team as the ‘All Whites’ when needing to use up air time during a five nil thrashing could not care less. So who are we afraid of offending?
Let us hope that the NZFA soon see the light. No other country plays in black. Not even Ze Germans and they're partial to a little black in their uniforms. It’s a distinctive, intimidating colour and it’s what foot balling youngsters in this country would aspire to wear were they given the chance. There is no reason why the team can’t still be referred to as the “All Whites’ were they to wear black. Now that would be a real play on words.
A million other countries play in white, which it should be remembered is the colour of surrender. Maybe that’s why we wore it against the Spanish this morning.
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