Is it just me or is our national carrier attempting to wind back the 'credibility clock' on NZ to about 30 years when the world really did think we were a bunch of untamed natives and yokels?
Their latest in flight video stars Richard Simmons. Yes, he’s still alive and yes, he still wears shorts so short you can tell he’s crazy because you can see he’s nuts. Hey, is the ratepayer still bailing out Air NZ, because if so I want my money back.
First we had the series of ads where everyone was covered in body paint. That was okay but curiously not a nipple - male or female - on show. Funny that. Then the All Blacks starred in one where the gay flight attendant tried to get a kiss from Richard Kahui. That bit got pulled because the Homophobe Brigade was worried that somebody somewhere was being pulled off to it!
Admittedly those two campaigns were mildly sophisticated and amusing, but then shit went downhill coincidentally around the same time CEO Rob Fyfe decided he was so well known that someone might want to bid for his grundies on Trade Me. Puh-lease. Next Door Nikki he ain’t. At least she doesn’t wash hers before she puts them in the post. Allegedly.
Then they had a puppet who achieved world wide WTF? status when he starred in a promo vid rapping with Snoop Doggy Dogg. Snoop clearly needs the money because why would you star in anything with anyone who has a hand up their bottom? Unless you’re Nikki’s naughty neighbor, Annie. But I digress...
What was the puppet anyway? A rat? Or a possum? Were all the Kiwi puppets taken that day they made that decision, as well as the NZ names? Rico, my arse.
And now we have Richard Simmons and speaking of men that look like rodents, Paul Henry. Henry, like The Doggfather, clearly needs the money too because a year ago he would be making fun of a guy like Simmons, in between taking the piss out of women with mustachios and Indians of course...
Personally, I like Richard Simmons but not at the exact moment when I grip the arm rests and wish like hell my flight doesn’t end up like the first episode of Lost, but yet at the same time, if it does could I please hook up with Kate? Pretty please.
Put that Simmons and Henry vid on though and I just might hope the damn thing crashes. On takeoff even.

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