And I know it’s supposed to be sensual and playful, but does it really have to come in a bottle shaped like something that could just as easily be accidentally-on purpose inserted into an orifice? Does it? Really?
Who would want to anyway? After it’s been on a supermarket shelf where it’s been fondled by some guy who’s gone on to make humorous but juvenile masturbation and butt plug gestures with it to his missus. And that’s just me; god only knows what other jokers have done with it before that.
It’s like those ‘personal massagers’ you can get at Farmers which are a packaging box change away from being the kind of thing single, middle aged women who have photos of their cats on their work desk and who have seen Titanic 17 times buy from D Vice.
I bought something from D Vice once and was quite impressed to find said purchase was placed in a discreet black carry bag. Only later, after having walked round town for a good half hour, did I realise that just the one side of the carry bag was blank whilst the other carried the store name in dirty gold lettering. Conveniently they had laid the embossed side down on the counter when handing it to me so I was completely unawares.
Still. At least the bottle inside wasn’t shaped like a vibrator. Only it was because that’s what it was but that’s irrelevant really…
Um, when is lube ever not 'intimate'...?
No comments:
Post a Comment