I finally did this week what I’ve been putting off for a while; I removed ‘friends’ from Facebook that weren’t actually friends at all but status seeking people I used to go to school with. It was a decision I didn’t make lightly because I for one have been burnt by the Facebook burn that is removing ‘mates’ without their knowledge, but enough was enough.
One guy I went through my entire school life with added me as a mate. He and I did time on the dark dangerous Naenae streets where blood is thicker than water and people died for the colour of a headband, but fuck it, I was friend 264 so clearly he didn’t think to look me up when he first signed up to the ‘ol FB. I don’t doubt he’s still a stand up guy – he is by all the outstanding causes and groups he likes to add himself to – but we haven’t said boo to each other even after we’ve been added so what’s the point aye?
Life’s too short to spend all day trying to read through the actions of people you used to know just so you can see the ones you do. I signed up to Facebook to a) post anonymous nude pics of myself on young girl’s profiles and b) to catch up with mates overseas. Now I‘m as curious as the next guy to see how the hot girl from school turned out, but once it’s obvious that she isn’t then it’s highly likely that you’ll have as much in common with her now, as you did back then – bugger all. And you can bet she’s not going to appreciate your nude shots no matter how tastefully done they are.
Apparently you can’t post objectionable material on Facebook. But if I post nude pics on the page of someone who wants to see them i.e. Dougal Macca and we make them private so that only we can view them, are they really objectionable? If a fat girl falls in the woods is it really still funny?
A psychologist from one of Europe’s biggest mental health recovery organisations believes that at least 10% of Facebook’s 110 million users are addicted to the site. I think some of them appear upon my list of friends actually. He reckons that:
“The acquisition of friends is like any other fix but it’s competitive. You judge yourself by how many friends you have online. You go out of your way to amass friends and that means people bend out of shape and become something they are not.
To appear successful, you go and put yourself in credit card debt by buying clothes and handbags. If you’re an addict you need to do things to fix yourself and make yourself feel better. People in recovery look for ways of being ‘fixed’ and these websites can act the same way.”
NB: The clinic will help you rid your addiction if you’re part of the ten percent – but at a cost. I’ll save you the cash right now – turn the PC off, go outside and get a life. Simple.
Now eternal optimists and self help gurus will try and tell you that you can never have enough friends. They’re also the type likely to try and tell you that drinking your own pee is ‘cleansing’, so there you go. I don’t necessarily disagree with the first statement but there is such a thing as real friends who you see, contact or interact with regularly and Facebook friends who can be virtual at best.
One of my ex class mates tried adding me the other day, as friend 207 but I had learnt my lesson from the last time she tried something similar, on Old School Mates or some gay site like that which is the poor cousin to the likes of Facebook and Bebo. She had emailed me only to garner a response which I duly did and I never heard from her again. Until the other day but now the shoe is on the other foot and it’s me making the decisions. Luckily for me she is not as hot as she once was so the decision was easy; delete!
So if you’re reading this and you were a Facebook friend and find that you’re now not, I make no apologies. I really just got tired of my profile being fill of you talking shit with your mates, none of whom I know or care about and you inviting me to join groups or applications that I know or care about. You may have even let yourself go since College and thus my interest in maintaining a virtual friendship dropped considerably after viewing your pics.
But if you want to add me as a friend again maybe I could send you some of mine that I have on file…
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