Gareth pissed off a bunch of Norwegians last week when he went on record as saying that he wouldn’t rescue one of their sailors if the guy just happened to be drowning in the same spot of Arctic water the two plan to be in next month. Morgan is going as part of an expedition, the Norwegian because he’s a waster with a death wish and has track record of spectacularly fucking things up.
Gareth is dead right, like he usually is. The man made has many millions from mastering the things that put Coops and I to sleep in Economics class back in College and you just know that he didn’t get that much wedge from being often wrong. Like most people with a ridiculous amount of coin he’s not afraid to speak his mind when he feels strongly about something and I for one like that.
More recently he’s gone in on bailing out The Phoenix and naturally his fan base just went up by a couple of thousand because if there’s one thing football fans love more than a rich benefactor its one who’s not afraid of a good sound bite. He even took his top of when they were one nil up with 10 minutes to go, what a guy.
He’s called the Norwegian guy a bottom feeder which I think is one of the funniest expressions around but then I would, the word ‘moist’ cracks me up too. Naturally this has soured the atmosphere a bit in gay ol Norway in much the same way that if I walked into your house and took a shit in your fridge you might not be too happy about it and it might sour the atmosphere.
But let’s not take fridge shitting out of its cultural context.
As a fellow blogger tells me, in Uruguay for instance there are no such prejudices. Shitting in someone's fridge can be seen as a friendly act like meeting a friend in the street, raising the right hand and enunciating the words "Hello my old friend". Fridge shitting is a national pastime and its exponents are much loved, known colloquially as "turd fairies".
It's only when we displace the amicable deposition of frozen ordure into a NZ context that it is likely to be seen in a negative light, due solely to the triumph of PC sandal-wearing do gooders who knit their own muesli. The freaks.
Of course even in Uruguay in some circumstances shitting in the fridge can be offensive, for example on the cold meats shelf or into a recently made trifle. Bum mince left by the turd fairy which has dripped into the lunch boxes for the kids tomorrow is also not seen in a good light. But if one is careful to deposit ones chilled choc logs into, for example, the egg holders, then the owner of the fridge door will smile on opening it in recognition of a beneficent auspice.
So please let's not get these things out of context or out of proportion.
Hey, Gareth wouldn’t and he’s always right, so get fucked Norway.
Gareth has shown a lot of guts in bailing out The Phoenix...
No comments:
Post a Comment