Just when I thought that memorable weekends were a thing of the past I have two of my Top Five, ever, in the one year.
First was Melski’s and Emski’s wedding in May. Second was just this weekend past and our taking my girls football team to the world famous in NZ McCartney tournament in Taupo.
Now I’ve coached a lot of football, seven years worth to be exact, but I’ve never had a team that has left me with such a sense of reward as my girls have this season. Don’t get me wrong, I love my boys too, not in an NAMBLA way mind you, but girl’s football is different to that of the boys.
Oh and I recommend you don’t Google that particular acronym unless you really want to see the Department of Internal affairs confiscate your hard drive in a 6am dawn raid.
Girls approach the game differently. They play in the true spirit of the game where with the boys stuff gets real serious real fucken quick and pretty soon no one is really enjoying themselves. Unless you’re winning, then that’s pretty cool.
My girls still have that same desire to win but they go about it differently. They look at the game holistically and understand that to win they all need to play well as a team. Boys will always try and do it alone. Always.
My girls also soak stuff up like a sponge. If I teach one of them a turn I know I’ll see it executed the very next game, do the same with my boys and I’ll be waiting weeks before they decide that they’ll give it a go.
And I had forgotten how much fun girls in a group are, particularly between the ages of 11 and 14 like mine are. Needless to say once someone mentioned that they’d be carrying my balls on the road trip up it became the running joke that I could never quite live down. And here was I thinking I had heard every in-your-end-o comment that could be made regarding balls in a bag...
On the field they did me proud, off it they were just as impressive. Not that they were the only ones; an early highlight of the weekend was a group of older girls calling out to me “nice boots”. Oh yes. You know you’ve made good in the footballing world when shit hot female footballers dig your F30’s..
There is one added advantage of having 11 & 12 year old girls in the car; they don’t mind the songs you have on your iPod that you chose in the hope it would somehow help you regain your youth, because they sing along to Lady Gaga and Ke$ha just as loud as you do. The Jonas Brothers track did raise an eyebrow though, admittedly.
So girls, heaven forbid none of you ever read this because this blog is filthy and clearly written by someone very immature, but if you are or do, you should know that you rocked my world this weekend.
I hereby adopt you all as my own.
Showing posts with label Lady Gaga. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lady Gaga. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Beyonce, Bikies & The ACC
I’ve just watched possibly one of the worst music video’s ever. It’s Beyonce doing a remake of a Beyonce song (for reasons I don’t know) and features two very strange things; Lady Gaga and guns.
Only you almost won’t recognise Ms Gaga because instead of wearing her usual array of kooky costumes, she wears none. Yep it’s just plain ‘ol Lady Gaga in a one piece and if there’s any truth to the rumours that she’s a lady man lady then she’s doing some major puppetry of the penis in this vid.
Personally I find Lady Gaga strangely attractive and I’m not entirely sure why. It probably doesn’t help that I know somebody who is a dead ringer for her too and if I was 19 and single I would probably start obsessing about just how much she resembles her and start harassing her about it in the misguided believe she’ll be flattered by it. Then, when completely freaked out by my actions, she rejects me completely I’d get all angry and start stalking the bitch. Not that I’ve ever done that of course.
Thankfully I’m a happily married thirty something and these days I can direct such obsessive compulsive compulsions to young girls who leave their Facebook pages unlocked. 316 personal photos? Don’t mind if I do...
There’s also the strange matter of the two wielding guns in the video which I don’t quite get but they were vaguely more interesting than the two singers. I’ve said it once but I’ll say it again; if you’re turned on by guns you’re not interested in sheilas and vice versa, so putting the two together is a weird combo.
It’ll do fantastically well in the charts though, despite the acid trip of a video and yet probably because of the acid trip of the video. Once upon a time a song was a hit because it sound good and folk liked to hear it played on the wireless. Now a day how the song sounds is almost irrelevant to how much vulva you can squeeze into the video.
Beyonce cracks me up too. Here is an influential young woman who professes strength, independence and intelligence yet always inevitable sluts up in her videos. Perhaps she’ll do a perfume soon and call it something just as empowering to young ladies everywhere, like Steel Vagina.
Speaking of which, is there some rule that says when you get a motorbike you have to start looking like a right hard mofo? Watching the footage of the motorbike protest at Parliament the other day I couldn’t help but chuckle at just how many of the participants that were interviewed on the various news programs fitted the stereotype.
The leather they wear is a big part of it, of course. Chicks dig the leather, like Batman said. But that doesn’t account for the anvil beards and far off stares of someone whose father never gave them the time of day that they all have.
I emphasise with the bikies and the large ACC levies that they face but only to a point. For every law abiding, never-had-an-accident-in-my-life motor bike rider there is at least several maniacs who push the limit and it’s those clowns I couldn’t give a flying fuck about. But then of course munters on the road are not confined to just two wheels either.
ACC to me should be like insurance; everyone contributes a little and if you never use it then you get rewarded by contributing even less. If you’re a waster of a student who toboggans down Dunedin’s steepest street in a chilly bin and you arse it, then, on account of your stupidity in doing something that no sane bugger would ever do, you are automatically exempt from claiming ACC. Likewise criminals.
But then what do I know aye? I wonder if I can claim ACC for Facebook wrist...
Only you almost won’t recognise Ms Gaga because instead of wearing her usual array of kooky costumes, she wears none. Yep it’s just plain ‘ol Lady Gaga in a one piece and if there’s any truth to the rumours that she’s a lady man lady then she’s doing some major puppetry of the penis in this vid.
Personally I find Lady Gaga strangely attractive and I’m not entirely sure why. It probably doesn’t help that I know somebody who is a dead ringer for her too and if I was 19 and single I would probably start obsessing about just how much she resembles her and start harassing her about it in the misguided believe she’ll be flattered by it. Then, when completely freaked out by my actions, she rejects me completely I’d get all angry and start stalking the bitch. Not that I’ve ever done that of course.
Thankfully I’m a happily married thirty something and these days I can direct such obsessive compulsive compulsions to young girls who leave their Facebook pages unlocked. 316 personal photos? Don’t mind if I do...
There’s also the strange matter of the two wielding guns in the video which I don’t quite get but they were vaguely more interesting than the two singers. I’ve said it once but I’ll say it again; if you’re turned on by guns you’re not interested in sheilas and vice versa, so putting the two together is a weird combo.
It’ll do fantastically well in the charts though, despite the acid trip of a video and yet probably because of the acid trip of the video. Once upon a time a song was a hit because it sound good and folk liked to hear it played on the wireless. Now a day how the song sounds is almost irrelevant to how much vulva you can squeeze into the video.
Beyonce cracks me up too. Here is an influential young woman who professes strength, independence and intelligence yet always inevitable sluts up in her videos. Perhaps she’ll do a perfume soon and call it something just as empowering to young ladies everywhere, like Steel Vagina.
Speaking of which, is there some rule that says when you get a motorbike you have to start looking like a right hard mofo? Watching the footage of the motorbike protest at Parliament the other day I couldn’t help but chuckle at just how many of the participants that were interviewed on the various news programs fitted the stereotype.
The leather they wear is a big part of it, of course. Chicks dig the leather, like Batman said. But that doesn’t account for the anvil beards and far off stares of someone whose father never gave them the time of day that they all have.
I emphasise with the bikies and the large ACC levies that they face but only to a point. For every law abiding, never-had-an-accident-in-my-life motor bike rider there is at least several maniacs who push the limit and it’s those clowns I couldn’t give a flying fuck about. But then of course munters on the road are not confined to just two wheels either.
ACC to me should be like insurance; everyone contributes a little and if you never use it then you get rewarded by contributing even less. If you’re a waster of a student who toboggans down Dunedin’s steepest street in a chilly bin and you arse it, then, on account of your stupidity in doing something that no sane bugger would ever do, you are automatically exempt from claiming ACC. Likewise criminals.
But then what do I know aye? I wonder if I can claim ACC for Facebook wrist...
Steel Vagina & Lady GaGa
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