I’ve just watched possibly one of the worst music video’s ever. It’s Beyonce doing a remake of a Beyonce song (for reasons I don’t know) and features two very strange things; Lady Gaga and guns.
Only you almost won’t recognise Ms Gaga because instead of wearing her usual array of kooky costumes, she wears none. Yep it’s just plain ‘ol Lady Gaga in a one piece and if there’s any truth to the rumours that she’s a lady man lady then she’s doing some major puppetry of the penis in this vid.
Personally I find Lady Gaga strangely attractive and I’m not entirely sure why. It probably doesn’t help that I know somebody who is a dead ringer for her too and if I was 19 and single I would probably start obsessing about just how much she resembles her and start harassing her about it in the misguided believe she’ll be flattered by it. Then, when completely freaked out by my actions, she rejects me completely I’d get all angry and start stalking the bitch. Not that I’ve ever done that of course.
Thankfully I’m a happily married thirty something and these days I can direct such obsessive compulsive compulsions to young girls who leave their Facebook pages unlocked. 316 personal photos? Don’t mind if I do...
There’s also the strange matter of the two wielding guns in the video which I don’t quite get but they were vaguely more interesting than the two singers. I’ve said it once but I’ll say it again; if you’re turned on by guns you’re not interested in sheilas and vice versa, so putting the two together is a weird combo.
It’ll do fantastically well in the charts though, despite the acid trip of a video and yet probably because of the acid trip of the video. Once upon a time a song was a hit because it sound good and folk liked to hear it played on the wireless. Now a day how the song sounds is almost irrelevant to how much vulva you can squeeze into the video.
Beyonce cracks me up too. Here is an influential young woman who professes strength, independence and intelligence yet always inevitable sluts up in her videos. Perhaps she’ll do a perfume soon and call it something just as empowering to young ladies everywhere, like Steel Vagina.
Speaking of which, is there some rule that says when you get a motorbike you have to start looking like a right hard mofo? Watching the footage of the motorbike protest at Parliament the other day I couldn’t help but chuckle at just how many of the participants that were interviewed on the various news programs fitted the stereotype.
The leather they wear is a big part of it, of course. Chicks dig the leather, like Batman said. But that doesn’t account for the anvil beards and far off stares of someone whose father never gave them the time of day that they all have.
I emphasise with the bikies and the large ACC levies that they face but only to a point. For every law abiding, never-had-an-accident-in-my-life motor bike rider there is at least several maniacs who push the limit and it’s those clowns I couldn’t give a flying fuck about. But then of course munters on the road are not confined to just two wheels either.
ACC to me should be like insurance; everyone contributes a little and if you never use it then you get rewarded by contributing even less. If you’re a waster of a student who toboggans down Dunedin’s steepest street in a chilly bin and you arse it, then, on account of your stupidity in doing something that no sane bugger would ever do, you are automatically exempt from claiming ACC. Likewise criminals.
But then what do I know aye? I wonder if I can claim ACC for Facebook wrist...
Only you almost won’t recognise Ms Gaga because instead of wearing her usual array of kooky costumes, she wears none. Yep it’s just plain ‘ol Lady Gaga in a one piece and if there’s any truth to the rumours that she’s a lady man lady then she’s doing some major puppetry of the penis in this vid.
Personally I find Lady Gaga strangely attractive and I’m not entirely sure why. It probably doesn’t help that I know somebody who is a dead ringer for her too and if I was 19 and single I would probably start obsessing about just how much she resembles her and start harassing her about it in the misguided believe she’ll be flattered by it. Then, when completely freaked out by my actions, she rejects me completely I’d get all angry and start stalking the bitch. Not that I’ve ever done that of course.
Thankfully I’m a happily married thirty something and these days I can direct such obsessive compulsive compulsions to young girls who leave their Facebook pages unlocked. 316 personal photos? Don’t mind if I do...
There’s also the strange matter of the two wielding guns in the video which I don’t quite get but they were vaguely more interesting than the two singers. I’ve said it once but I’ll say it again; if you’re turned on by guns you’re not interested in sheilas and vice versa, so putting the two together is a weird combo.
It’ll do fantastically well in the charts though, despite the acid trip of a video and yet probably because of the acid trip of the video. Once upon a time a song was a hit because it sound good and folk liked to hear it played on the wireless. Now a day how the song sounds is almost irrelevant to how much vulva you can squeeze into the video.
Beyonce cracks me up too. Here is an influential young woman who professes strength, independence and intelligence yet always inevitable sluts up in her videos. Perhaps she’ll do a perfume soon and call it something just as empowering to young ladies everywhere, like Steel Vagina.
Speaking of which, is there some rule that says when you get a motorbike you have to start looking like a right hard mofo? Watching the footage of the motorbike protest at Parliament the other day I couldn’t help but chuckle at just how many of the participants that were interviewed on the various news programs fitted the stereotype.
The leather they wear is a big part of it, of course. Chicks dig the leather, like Batman said. But that doesn’t account for the anvil beards and far off stares of someone whose father never gave them the time of day that they all have.
I emphasise with the bikies and the large ACC levies that they face but only to a point. For every law abiding, never-had-an-accident-in-my-life motor bike rider there is at least several maniacs who push the limit and it’s those clowns I couldn’t give a flying fuck about. But then of course munters on the road are not confined to just two wheels either.
ACC to me should be like insurance; everyone contributes a little and if you never use it then you get rewarded by contributing even less. If you’re a waster of a student who toboggans down Dunedin’s steepest street in a chilly bin and you arse it, then, on account of your stupidity in doing something that no sane bugger would ever do, you are automatically exempt from claiming ACC. Likewise criminals.
But then what do I know aye? I wonder if I can claim ACC for Facebook wrist...
Steel Vagina & Lady GaGa
No comments:
Post a Comment