Sheila of the Week

Whether this appreciation piece is about a fictional character or the sexy minx who plays her in a movie, we're not entirely sure. But of one thing we are sure; Sienna Miller was born to play a character like The Baroness in the recently released G.I.Joe movie.

Some of the ClubDes Massive made a boys afternoon of it last week and rewound the years back to our childhoods when G.I.Joe was the biggest thing in toys since Star Wars. It's fair to say that back in them days the makers of G.I.Joe (Hasbro) made a token effort in representing the fairer sex with only a few figures; Baroness, Scarlett, Lady Jaye, Jinx and Zarana. Back then female equality in the military hadn't yet occurred and playing with something in your pocket that was three and a half inches big was most definitely a boy’s thing.

But times have changed, there are now females on the frontline of almost every world conflict and we fellas have grown up, at least physically. Our interest in the female figure has changed so much that these days we'd be more likely to arrange our Joes - particularly the few female ones - in an orgy than a flanking ambush. They are fully poseable after all. I don't mind you; mine always have their mind on the job.

So it’s fair to say we looked upon the Baroness and Scarlett in a different light last week than that of my ten year old son who accompanied us. Infact watching them portrayed on the big screen was a bit like bumping into your mates annoying little sister who is now all grown up and as sexy as sin. Quite how a push up bra is standard military issue I don't know but it seemed to work for both the Baroness and Scarlett.

Certainly Bruiser had a three inch in his pocket after the movie despite not actually taking any figures with him, thanks to Rachel Nichols' portrayal of Scarlett, but then he always did have a thing for redheads. Even Cover Girl made an appearance, albeit far too briefly for we the older generation. She is the character who got bored with modelling (hence the Cover Girl codename) and took up counter terrorism, as you do. Cheesy bio but hey, who knows, she could be the perfect role model for the current generation of photocopy wannabes!

But it was the Baroness, or rather Sienna that stole the show. The Baroness was always my favourite SheJoe anyways; sleek and sexy in all black leather, ruthless, she never took any shit from no one. She was every teacher-librarian-authority figure fantasy rolled into one, with Uzis. Even today she is a role model for young women everywhere (less the Uzis) and is a cult favourite going by the number of Google images you can find of fans dressed as her.

Sienna Miller is an interesting sheila herself, although probably not a role model for many given her recent husband stealing ways. She started out as a model and on film, particularly this one, she is electric. She had to undergo a slight appearance change in order to take on the role, what with her being a blonde in real life but as often is the case, good looking blondes make striking brunettes.

Unfortunately despite her many talents she is perhaps best known (before G.I.Joe) as Jude Laws’ ex missus, who he rather infamously cheated on with the couple’s nanny. Now how the hell you choose the hired help over someone like Miller is beyond us and we’re damn sure that we never would.

Especially if she keeps the Baroness outfits from the movie....