My son is at that age (10) where almost everything has a double entendre, particularly any sentence that involves the words ‘thing’ and ‘balls’.
His response to hearing such phrases is to erupt into fits of laughter from which he only pauses to repeat what you said with emphasis on the aforementioned words and to tell you that your use of such words ‘was just plain wrong’.
My niece, who is the same age physically but a little more advanced mentally (as all girls like to believe that they are) is even worse, having a heightened sense of in-your-end-o awareness for even the most mundane of words, like ‘package’, or ‘bag’. The end result of all this hilarity is that you can seldom get through a sentence without one, or both of them, snorting their way with delight through the rest of what you were trying to say.
Thankfully my boy is not yet at the age where girls even remotely interest him because they can’t be trusted. My advice to him will be that when he gets a girlfriend is that he doesn’t tell her where he lives or works.
But it did get me thinking that pretty soon I’m going to have to sit him down and give him one of the most important lessons a boy can get in life: how to draw a penis.
He’s off to Intermediate this year and I can’t in good mind send him off without him knowing how to doodle an amusing doodle. Mine were legendary back in their day, everybody said so, especially Bruiser who has played rugby all his life and therefore seen a lot of cock so I always took his word on such matters.
My early efforts were like everyone’s at the time; big balls, pencil thin shaft and big helmet. Occasionally I’d add a few pubes but I never felt the need to add 'the jizz', which I always felt just cheapened the drawing.
Later in my school life, probablydue to the hours I spent playing with my own, I started to etch a pretty lifelike rendition of the ‘ol meat and two veg and it’s exactly that kind of attention to detail I can pass on to my son to ensure that it’s his dick that’s getting laughed at next year on the blackboard.
Now that really did sound wrong didn’t it....?
His response to hearing such phrases is to erupt into fits of laughter from which he only pauses to repeat what you said with emphasis on the aforementioned words and to tell you that your use of such words ‘was just plain wrong’.
My niece, who is the same age physically but a little more advanced mentally (as all girls like to believe that they are) is even worse, having a heightened sense of in-your-end-o awareness for even the most mundane of words, like ‘package’, or ‘bag’. The end result of all this hilarity is that you can seldom get through a sentence without one, or both of them, snorting their way with delight through the rest of what you were trying to say.
Thankfully my boy is not yet at the age where girls even remotely interest him because they can’t be trusted. My advice to him will be that when he gets a girlfriend is that he doesn’t tell her where he lives or works.
But it did get me thinking that pretty soon I’m going to have to sit him down and give him one of the most important lessons a boy can get in life: how to draw a penis.
He’s off to Intermediate this year and I can’t in good mind send him off without him knowing how to doodle an amusing doodle. Mine were legendary back in their day, everybody said so, especially Bruiser who has played rugby all his life and therefore seen a lot of cock so I always took his word on such matters.
My early efforts were like everyone’s at the time; big balls, pencil thin shaft and big helmet. Occasionally I’d add a few pubes but I never felt the need to add 'the jizz', which I always felt just cheapened the drawing.
Later in my school life, probablydue to the hours I spent playing with my own, I started to etch a pretty lifelike rendition of the ‘ol meat and two veg and it’s exactly that kind of attention to detail I can pass on to my son to ensure that it’s his dick that’s getting laughed at next year on the blackboard.
Now that really did sound wrong didn’t it....?
It's been a while but yep, I've still got it...
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