China vs The Geek

Now I might have only been the fifth smartest non Asian at my school but if there’s one thing I know its how to rark somebody up and waving a flag at them isn’t it. Unless it’s a swastika - that usually gets a reaction every time.

Case in point, Green Party co-leader and complete poindexter Russell Norman, who tried to take on the Chinese delegation at Parliament the other day armed with his curly red hair, ladies disposition and Tibetan flag.

It was a mismatch of epic proportions. The Chinese may come from a long way overseas and in some cases, only come up to our knees, but beating down flag waving skinny guys is their shit.

Norman used his parliamentary position and privilege to get up close and personal with the ping pong boys but that particular victory was short lived. As soon as he was within reach he, in his own pathetic words, "had his flag ripped out of his hands and somebody smacked him in his elbow".

He was lucky to walk away; clearly it was a death match.

What a peen-arse and another outstanding example of New Zealand politicians being completely useless when amongst the grown ups of world politics. It reminded me a little of a teenage girl who catches a glimpse of their idol after having waited outside their hotel all morning.

I used to wait outside a girls house back in the day too but I never got so much as a glimpse of her. Admittedly it might have had something to do with the note I had left her that one time which read “Dear Lisa, I was in your room whilst you were out and left you something in the toilet”, but I doubt it. Rude bitch.

The whole Tibet thing gets a bit tired anyway. Sure as far as human rights violations go, it’s grim. But it’s a sexy cause to get behind, not that you could ever use the ‘sexy’ in any sentence containing ‘Russell Norman’. How many celebs claim to be into freeing Tibet? And how many of the same do-gooders have a houseful of tat made in China? Not Tibet.

China has a long list of shit that it should be held accountable for. Like the small matter of it being the country that executes more people each year than the rest of the world combined does. Or the one child policy it maintains, or the accusations of organ harvesting and the general crack down on any belief that isn’t sanctioned by The State.

Conveniently none of these things come as a flag.

Some of which, admittedly, probably helps keep the numbers down over there so maybe we shouldn’t make a fuss. But if you do don’t be all limp wristed about it like Russell Norman, there are a number of things you can do to protest against China.

None of which I can think of right now. I’ve just remembered how good Lisa looked in her school uniform and suddenly have the urge to play with myself...