Spammers Can't Add.

We all know that the web is no longer a safe place.

Gone are the days when a fella could pretend to be 15 year old boy in a teen chat room just so I, rather he, could get a few kinky undie pics from the 30 year old gay guy pretending to be a 13 year old girl at the other end.

No, people frown on that kind of stuff these days. Spam is a big problem too and the battle to stop our inboxes filling with offers of a 10 inch cock balm is a never ending one.

I clicked on one of those once - who hasn’t aye? -but luckily it was my flatmates work PC. It wasn’t a major though, I had masturbated my way through filling it’s hard drive with porn by that stage so nobody in her ICT department would’ve noticed the extra virus I reckon.

One way websites do this is by getting you till fill in one of those ‘Captcha’ fields where you have to copy words or letters written by a deaf, dumb blind kid with no arms. Or legs. The theory is that because that can’t be done automatically it stops spam.

But today I came across a marked step up in the war against spam, the maths test!


It's like putting your keys in the shoes whilst at the beach, no one can get round that kind of thinking because it's pure genius. We all know spammers can't add so that’ll learn 'em...

Dear Capt. Mark Bennett...

...you nearly had me just then. Right up till the bit about survivng two suicide bombs.

Till then I was prepared to overlook the broken English that one would associate with a Private, not a man of your rank and the small matter of you listing almost the entire plot of the movie 'Three Kings'.

But if you can't even blow yourself up right what chance have I of ever seeing my share of the money?

I would have smuggled that money in a cavity for you too, dammit.

I am Capt. Mark Bennett of the US Army base in Iraq for peace keeping I found your contact detail in an address journal am seeking your assistance to evacuate the sum of $5,000,000 to you as long as I am assured that it will be safe in your care until I complete my service here in Iraq. This is not stolen money and there are no dangers involved.

SOURCE OF MONEY: some money in various currencies was discovered concealed in barrels with piles of weapons and ammunition’s at a location near one of Saddam's old palaces during a rescue operation, and it was agreed by all party present that the money be shared amongst us, this was quite an illegal thing to do, but I tell you what? No compensation can make up for the risks we have taken with our lives in this hell hole.

The above figure was given to me as my share, and to conceal this kind of money became a problem for me, so with the help of a German contact working here and his office enjoys some immunity, I was able to get the package out to a safe location entirely out of trouble spot. He does not know the real contents of the package, and believes that it belongs to an Asian American who died in an air raid, and before giving up, trusted me to hand over the package to his family. I have survived 2 suicide bombs by the special grace of God.

Get back to me in my person email: markbennett61@live.com.

Capt Mark Bennett