Bring Back the Book.

Where have all the good bookstores gone?

Last week I wandered around like an idiot not in on a private joke, looking for a fairly new book (Underbelly a Tale of Two Cities), which I rather foolishly thought would be readily available because a) the series of the same name has just shown here on TV and b) its about a Kiwi and the infamous drug ring that he set up.

But fuck me if I could find it. What I actually found in many of the so called 'bookstores' I ventured into was a lot of crap, the likes of which you expect to find in the $2 shop, not a book store. Bookshops, it would seem, are desperate for your cash and rather than sticking to the very thing that got the punters in the door in the first place they're whoring their floor to the peddlers of rubbish in the hope they’ll get a sale, any sale.

It’s a bit like going to the supermarket and them trying to tempt you in picking up a microwave amongst your veggies, or outdoor furniture whilst choosing your ice cream. Sounds ridiculous doesn't it? But still the bastards try it on and it’s a good thing really because I've forgotten the number of times I've longed to be able to bag a good lawn mower whilst picking up the milk...

More and more shops are adding stock that simply doesn't fit and personally I take offence at the insult it creates to my intelligence. My local Video Sleazy now has a 'hot nuts' device on its counter and it’s got absolutely nothing to do with the Adult section. Now you can get a bag of hot, roasted peanuts with the DVD you don't plan to watch for several hours.

Now I am a big reader and always have been. Why once I even read a Penthouse Forum at school during our compulsory quiet reading period after each lunch break. It was all I had in my bag on account of being passed it earlier in the day as it was my turn to have it for a week. I nearly got away with reading it too, nearly. It was one of those small stick mags, not much bigger than a TV guide and I figured so long as I kept the pages tight together my PE teacher wouldn’t know otherwise. Infact I was so confident I only sat a few metres away from him on the benches.

But even that was too close. Somehow he managed to make out some of the text on the back page and I was busted, big time. I held my head high as I was lead away because I knew that the class room cred I was going to get for it was priceless and despite what the rest of the fellas were yelling out, we both knew it wasn't a stiffy that had given me away. I never did get that magazine back now I think of it.

The reading of books is a dying art and physical reading is fast becoming something only those without PCs still do. There's certainly not much you can't read on the intra web these days but its not the same is it? This blog aside, is there any web page you genuinely get excited about reading on the web at least once a day? Probably not but a good book does that, if you're lucky enough to find one that is.

Bookstores are also great places to buy DVDs which again confuses the hell out of me because they cancel each other out dammit! If you're reading a good book you're not likely to be watching a movie while you do so. Precious book space is being taken up by DVDs and the irony is whilst I can find the Underbelly title on DVD I can't find the thing in print.

But there is such a thing as too much book. Dymocks Lambton Quay went into receivership a few months ago and that place was wall to wall book. The place was full of obscure stuff that was expensive and well, obscure. You could rock up to Dymocks and order just about everything which is great for the consumer but not so for the store. Imported books are often expensive to import and thus heavily marked up to cover the margins, if the poor bugger who orders it then doesn't show to collect then you've got a very expensive door stop sitting on the shelf.

Maybe they should’ve sold hot nuts? Or lawn mowers.

P.S I'm still looking for Underbelly A Tale of Two Cities if you see a copy somewhere..