Actually I do know who is, how could I not?! One half arsed trip to NZ and it’s not just the pubescent girls who start acting like, well, pubescent girls. Stuff.co.nz, for example, confirmed my long held suspicions that it is actually Dolly magazine in disguise by acting like it the whole time Bebo was here.
And I know his name isn’t actually ‘Bebo’ but I feel it optimises the generation most likely to be screaming their itty bitty titties off at the mere mention of his name. What are all those tweens going to do when Bebo gets shutdown because it’s haemorrhaging money? They’ll turn to Facebook that’s what which, in turn will undoubtedly lead to an influx of closet sexos who will flock to their pages (and photo albums) before the text generation has a chance to work out just how to turn on Facebook’s complex privacy settings.
But then maybe the Be-bos crowd just don’t care about that shit. Justin’s mother certainly didn’t for it was she that posted clips of him singing on You Tube, the paedophiles’ other favourite free perve. That’s how he got ‘discovered’.
Some producer (or closet paedophile) spotted the clip ‘by mistake’ and tracked down the young blonde boy in about three easy steps. Now at this stage alarm bells should’ve been ringing in the Bebo household, but clearly they didn’t give a monkey’s. Quite the opposite.
Now I don’t know about you lot who have kids, but if my son caught his mother a) filming him singing and b) posting it on the Net he’d David Bain the lot of us and my god I hope it stays that way for a very long time. If, when he’s 18 he wants to hang out with his cock out on Chat Roulette then so be it. But at least it will be his decision and his alone.
Bebo on the other hand, loves the adulation. I had the misfortune of seeing an interview with him on one of those shows that purport to bring you the news but these days seem to be focusing a lot on movies, celebrities and other such bollocks. He sat there preening himself like a rooster and he certainly looked like a right cock the whole time.
I even forced myself to sit through one of his songs just to see what the fuss was and it left me confused how a 16 year old Christian boy could know so much about love and heartbreak when you and I both know that his experience of relationships to this point in time is likely to be confined to his right hand.
Maybe it’s just me. I am getting old and yes, a lot of things seem to piss me off these days. Hell, I even piss myself off from time to time. And maybe it’s just me reacting the same way our grandparents did when our mother got all moist over The Beatles, or how our parents got miffed with our sisters when they went all silly over the New Kids on the Block.
Maybe. Or just maybe I’m justified in thinking that that if some baby faced kid who looks like he’s twelve and sings songs written by middle aged men is truly the most exciting thing in the world, then we’re all fucked.
Yeah and up yours too, Bebo!
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