Damn You Justin Bebo.

Damn you and your list of female admirers that is only fractionally longer than mine was at the same age. You may well claim to be the perfect gentlemen and that you are holding out for the right one but we know that never worked for Britney and it won’t for you.

Damn you and your perfect hair that looks like you just extracted your head from a cows butt. Yes, your sparkly teeth and youthful dimples look real swell right now but they’ll go soon buddy, so you’d better get your mug on as many mugs as quick as you can, for posterity sake.

Which you have, damn you and in doing so have inexplicably linked your dreamy self to Pippa Middleton, sister of Kate and the real royal hotness. Somehow you’ve managed to charm your way into a tit for tat agreement with her company; they make merchandising tat and you’d like to see her...well, you know.

But I think we both know how this will end.

Oh sure you’ve some mad skills dance moves now and the voice that sounds like your balls haven’t got a single hair on them yet, but those moves will eventually go and those blue plums will drop, because they always do.

Then what huh? The looks will fade and you’ll be like Rob Lowe. The music will become dull and predictable and you’ll be like Bret Michaels, making programs like Rock of Love Bus where you start with 39 ladies and a porn star. Guess which one you’ll eventually pick as the winner?

After that career highlight you’ll bash a few girlfriends, do far too many drugs and appear in something as a caricature of your real self. Then you’ll wake up as the Charlie Sheen of your generation.

And yet, before all that happens, I’m guessing that you’ll still manage to charm Pippa into that single bed of yours, the one with the Wizards of Waverly Place duvet set on it.

Damn you Justin Bebo. Damn you.

Well I'm not putting a picture of him on my blog now am I...