The intelligence of this country took another hit this week with the arrival of the Double Down burger from that bastion of healthy life choices, KFC.
Naturally the health conscious freaked and got their miserable, puckered anus like faces in and on everything dispelling the nutritional content of such a thing. It was an exercise that backfired spectacularly because in doing so they created huge hype to something that even the company admitted on camera it was never really going to promote.
Oh and of course the media had a field day with it.
I’ve said it once but I love the sound of my voice so I’ll do so again; we’re a pretty sad fucken country when something like a burger gets the tits in a tangle and it starts becoming a lead news story. It’s not news, it’s a burger. It’s not a health epidemic, it’s a burger and it’s certainly not a freedom of choice issue because it’s only a fucken burger.
And are you, like me, sick to death of seeing nutritionists bagging everything they personally wouldn’t eat and taking the moral high ground accordingly? I for one know that they don’t practice what they preach for I regularly bump into (I wish, she’s quite tidy) the dietitian I had whilst in the hospital last, at the supermarket and she buys some shit, so there you go.
And they’re only ever one of two types of people are these self appointed experts; morbidly obese thus completely jealous of anyone that eats the Double Down, or stick thin and thus incapable of holding the Double Down let alone eat it (thus being completely jealous of anyone who can).
It's not even the worst burger I've ever heard off. That particular honour goes to one that a guy who we always called 'uncle' but actually wasn't, told me to ask for a fur burger at the corner dairy. Now I might have only been 10 years old but even I suspected I didn't want one, especially as he haven't given me any money to pay for it.
By all means, fight the good fight on childhood obesity and all that jazz but pick your battles aye? Steer clear of anything that any fast food joint churns out because people go there to buy that rubbish. They don’t give a toss about you telling them how much salt is in the damn thing or the calorie count any more than a smoker cares how much nicotine is in their durry; all they care is that there is some.
So the Double Down is here for five weeks and for the small minority of the population that have or will try them, like Chef and JK, they’re pretty good by all accounts. KFC are rubbing their fat caked hands with all the free publicity they’ve gotten over it and every celery eater who spoke up about body mass index and shit looks like a fool, again.
Personally that stuff goes right through me and looks the same coming out as it did going in, so I won’t be partaking unless I have the urge for a cheap colonic. But I do feel a little bit dumber for having seen / heard / read the whole sorry saga so maybe a product rename is in order:
New from KFC – The Dumb Down Burger.
Naturally the health conscious freaked and got their miserable, puckered anus like faces in and on everything dispelling the nutritional content of such a thing. It was an exercise that backfired spectacularly because in doing so they created huge hype to something that even the company admitted on camera it was never really going to promote.
Oh and of course the media had a field day with it.
I’ve said it once but I love the sound of my voice so I’ll do so again; we’re a pretty sad fucken country when something like a burger gets the tits in a tangle and it starts becoming a lead news story. It’s not news, it’s a burger. It’s not a health epidemic, it’s a burger and it’s certainly not a freedom of choice issue because it’s only a fucken burger.
And are you, like me, sick to death of seeing nutritionists bagging everything they personally wouldn’t eat and taking the moral high ground accordingly? I for one know that they don’t practice what they preach for I regularly bump into (I wish, she’s quite tidy) the dietitian I had whilst in the hospital last, at the supermarket and she buys some shit, so there you go.
And they’re only ever one of two types of people are these self appointed experts; morbidly obese thus completely jealous of anyone that eats the Double Down, or stick thin and thus incapable of holding the Double Down let alone eat it (thus being completely jealous of anyone who can).
It's not even the worst burger I've ever heard off. That particular honour goes to one that a guy who we always called 'uncle' but actually wasn't, told me to ask for a fur burger at the corner dairy. Now I might have only been 10 years old but even I suspected I didn't want one, especially as he haven't given me any money to pay for it.
By all means, fight the good fight on childhood obesity and all that jazz but pick your battles aye? Steer clear of anything that any fast food joint churns out because people go there to buy that rubbish. They don’t give a toss about you telling them how much salt is in the damn thing or the calorie count any more than a smoker cares how much nicotine is in their durry; all they care is that there is some.
So the Double Down is here for five weeks and for the small minority of the population that have or will try them, like Chef and JK, they’re pretty good by all accounts. KFC are rubbing their fat caked hands with all the free publicity they’ve gotten over it and every celery eater who spoke up about body mass index and shit looks like a fool, again.
Personally that stuff goes right through me and looks the same coming out as it did going in, so I won’t be partaking unless I have the urge for a cheap colonic. But I do feel a little bit dumber for having seen / heard / read the whole sorry saga so maybe a product rename is in order:
New from KFC – The Dumb Down Burger.
Even the Chef, with his extraordinary culinary palate, inhaled his Dumb Down burger.
Small vom in mouth just looking at the heinous thing.
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