Sometimes I lament the ongoing dumbing down of this nation.
Usually I don't give a toss but just occasionally I can't help but sigh like you do when you think of a girl you could've gone all the way with but didn't. Now you chastise your indecision at the time and wonder 'what if' but no matter how hard you look, she's not on Facebook or Bebo, so even if she was interested 15 years later (and wasn't a complete minger) you know your chance is gone. You know that feeling and I know you know.
I had one of those moments after watching a show on Sunday that is hosted by Marc Ellis, which says it all really. It features Kiwis trying to break world records, but not outstanding stuff like being the first to reach some unmountable summit like we Kiwis used to do, no, these are decidedly low brow achievements; like trying to catch the most Malteasers in the mouth, tossing washing machines or breaking wooden toilet seats with your head. Real world changing achievement type of stuff.
Which in itself is okay I suppose, if you want to spend your days looking through the Guinness Book of World Records trying to find some obscure, who-gives-a-fuck record that you think you can break then good luck to you. But somebody with more influence than I made the conscious decision to put up the funds to make a program out of it and then sell it to the network who broadcast it every week. Why did they not stop to think that that some money could've been used to make something remotely educational or informative I wonder to myself?
At the other end of the social scale was the Tua / Cameron fight, billed as the fight of the century but alas proving to be far from it on the night. The real hi-jinks started earlier than that though when the two got together at one of their first press conferences and started discussing nuclear physics. Well, not quite. A meeting of Mensa minds this wasn't and after the jokes about old men and mountain goats* had passed I couldn't help but wonder if the Tua / Cameron circus would go the distance.
It did and it didn't. I personally thought that one of the two fighters would make like a Christian and pull out before the big night. When the tsunami hit Samoa it seemed like Tua might have his way out but full credit, he didn't and you can't help but think that the terrible event didn't help motivate Mr O for Owesome in some way because prior to that it seems his only motivation was to make it through the whole palava so that he could get down to Burger King.
On the night it was decidedly men vs the boys stuff and over in less than five minutes which has to be disappointing if you paid all that money to watch it in person. It might have been a spectacle to see Tua win like he did but so is watching Pearl Jam live and you'd be pretty pissed if they walked off after only one song. Now I'm not a boxing fan, sure, I like to see two men smash the shit out of each other as the next guy, but boxing is not my bag. But what I do love about it is seeing the effect it has on people in the crowd and the Tua fight / Cameron massacre was no exception.
There is something primal that happens to those present at such an event. It turns even the most ardent of white ribbon wearing person into Jake the Muss and often you see it in even the most unlikely of onlookers; women. Watch any boxing match where shit is getting torn up and I guarantee that in the background you will see some bird swinging her way into Fight Club. Brilliant.
Over in his native Samoa Tua's victory made front page news, knocking of the small, inconsequential event that was the 100+ life claiming tsunami. Now I know they love their sport over there but even that seemed a bit much. Perhaps one day someone will make a show of it called Tua vs The Tsunami; The Real Fight of the Century, starring Mark Ellis as David Tua.
Now that would be dumb.
*Shane Cameron's nickname is The Mountain Warrior. Mountain goats, incidentally, are best shagged at the edge of a cliff; they push back harder. Don't ask how I know this. Please.
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