Spit is Cheaper..

Direct from our ‘What the fuck for?’ file comes the new KY Yours + Mine concept, yet another product from a company that is taking the piss out of its consumers by flogging off two of the same thing under the guise that a) they’re both uniquely different, but b) when put together they make a magical third substance.

Lynx tried the same thing a year or so ago when they tried to tell us that by combining the leftover fly spray and oven cleaner they had lying around, you made a mystical musk that would have all the girls in the general vicinity dropping their daks for you. Needless to say that concept left us suitably unimpressed too.

The blurb for this new lube says it all really:

“Whether you have a flame that needs rekindling or you´re looking to take your relationship to the next level, we´ve got the perfect adventure for you both.

It´s simple. You apply the product to each other. The blue goes on him for an invigorating sensation. The purple goes on her for a thrilling sensation. And when combined, there´s an amazing reaction.”

Now if you’re anything like me then you too have just rendered the chair you’re sitting in unusable for half an hour after reading that, or at least till the wet patch dries.

I am no relationship expert but I reckon if you have a ‘flame that needs rekindling’ then whipping out a tube of KY on her one night is probably not the best start. Your missus, she of the frigid fanny, is going to see that as a sign that you want to take her up the chuff and I doubt very much whether or not she’s going to share KYs view that that is ‘the perfect adventure for you both’.

And what is taking your relationship to the next level anyway? Is that an euphemism for anal? And as for making sensations I am pretty sure that anytime I’ve lathered something wet on my willie I’ve had an invigorating time, so tell us something we don’t know.

The one thing that is clear with Yours + Mine is that it is a product for heterosexual couples only. Gays need not bother buying this because you just haven’t got the bits between you to fully utilise the epic encounter slathering on this lube will bring you, so you will have to stick with saliva. Heaven knows what will happen if two lezzers apply the blue tubed lube to themselves, perhaps they’ll grow a penis?

The KY website is quite the amusing exercise in just how much rubbish a company will come up with in order to sell you what you could otherwise get for free from any of those partially used lotions you have on your dresser or in the bathroom.

My personal fave was taking the ‘KY Intense’ tour just so I could see what effect a drop of the stuff has on sexy things like a CD player, picture of the Eiffel tower, or a pair of bunny slippers. Rather disappointingly there isn’t a fanny in sight.

KY really is having a laugh with Yours + Mine and pretty much their entire range. Lube is lube, no matter what you call it or how fancy you make the tube. There are only two practical uses for KY and that is 1) taking it up the chuff and 2) giving it as a Secret Santa gift which is extremely funny, especially if you take a moment to squeeze half of it out, rough up the tube a little and stick a few pubes under the lid before wrapping it...

Now that will create an amazing reaction, every time.

Of course it has to look like it will slip easily up the bum too doesn't it?