Think about just how many people you converse with during the course of the working day and I bet that like me, you probably get the impression that most of them couldn’t organise a decent shit. But every so often you come across that type of someone who just optimises oral efficiency; a German.
You just can’t beat a good German (the two World Wars aside, of course). Of all the Nordic accents theirs is the one that sounds the most like a well tuned V12 twin turbo engine; humbly reserved most of the time but with the ability to verbally thrash you within an inch of your life should you deserve it.
Others from that part of the world just don’t carry the same authoritarian tone that the Ze Germans have. Sure, the Swedish accent is quite inviting - on a nubile blonde with pony tails - but coming from their fellas it just sounds, well, fruity. The Dutch all sound like yokels and as for Finns / Danes and Norwegians, well, who can really understand what they’re saying anyway.
Let’s face it, Germans, like slavery, get shit done and the next best thing to actually being one (don’t mention the war) is to talk to one on the phone. Try it sometime, its pants wettingly good. But you can't use mine, try instead looking through the phone book for the most German sounding name you can find i.e Schultz, Hitler and give them a call.
Other Germanic things that leave me feeling like a little girl:
Jurgen Klinsmann - Best German ever to have played for Spurs. 
Messerchmitt BF 109 - Best German fighter I ever had to shoot down.
BMW M3 - Best German motor I am yet to own.
Adidas football boots - The Germans make the best boots (funny that).
Heidi Klum - Best German bird ever.
The Tiger Tank - The best tank ever, was German.
Michael Schumacher - Mr Formula One, is German.
The Scorpians 'Wind of Change' - Best one hit wonder German band, of all time.
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