You Go Girls...

Emotional news this week that Kiwi women are now amongst the most promiscuous in the world and are on average, shagging 20.4 fellas each.

NB:That’s 20 normal guys and one dwarf - that’s how you get the .4 in all of this.

The girls can now add this new record to their long list of other world beating achievements:

1. Highest teenage pregnancy rate
2. Highest teenage suicide rate
3. Highest rate of binge drinking amongst young women
4. Highest rate of personal debt

Crikey it’s almost enough to turn a bloke gay isn’t it? Almost, but not quite.

Yep, the girls have yet again excelled themselves and we men are apparently intimidated by this sea change in slutiness from us to them. It is even reported that some of us feel threatened by it. To those geezers I say this: Harden the fuck up man.

According to the poll we boys can only manage 16.9 roots on average which means at least four amongst us are double dipping. So clearly some of us are also neither intimidated or feeling threatened by this sexual awakening that seems to have befallen our sisters. Or at the very least someone else’s sister because doing yours is just wrong.

But not uncommon. I once heard a story about a brother and sister who were unknowingly at the same masquerade swinger’s party and ended up having sexual relations with each other. My missus and I are always doing that too; so dissapointing when you've made the effort to get a good costume and shit.

Years before that Bruiser and I went to school with a brother and sister who were abnormally close, so much so that it made even we boys, the suppressors of an almost constant erection and impure thoughts, feel dirty.

So the moral of this story is threefold; don’t do your sister, be a slut or feel sorry for a dwarf because they more than anyone else, seem to be getting the best deal in this whole sorry saga.

Lucky buggers.