Happy Birthday Coops

Happy Birthday Coops. I know I’m a week late and you probably thought I forgot but I hadn’t, it’s just that our history runs deep so I’ve been busy doing the things we used to do, in celebration of your special day.

I started by trying to find the skin flick we watched that one time in the wee early hours of the morning at my house. You know the one, with the anal beads? Back then that was some kinky stuff, especially for a couple of 16 year olds like us, but not these days. Do you know just how many hits you get when you do a Google video search on that particular key word?

Then I consumed a six pack of Double Brown because that’s the only beer cheap enough for us to buy back in the day with your fake ID. I struggled to get through it because, quite frankly, it’s shit and it makes me wonder if the guys at the bottler that sold it to us picked us for a couple of kids all along but were just happy to get rid of the stuff.

I cycled from my house to yours like we always used to do. Quite the effort these days given we live 35 minutes by car and a major motorway away now, not the 10 we used to. Still, I managed to nick enough milk and newspapers from letterboxes like I always did to make the trip worthwhile. Oh and I stoned Bollocks house on the way. Turns out he doesn’t live there any more, shitto.

You weren’t home when I eventually got there but I let myself in and tried on some of your clothes, just like back in the day. They were too big, still, but I wore them anyway because you always had cool labels where mine just said ‘DEKA’.

I played Uno and chess, by myself, but still managed to trash talk myself the whole time. I watched all the Arnie and Hot Damn Van Damme movies in chronological order and even spent 45 minutes hidden in the back yard waiting to ambush you like I always did when we played war. Not surprisingly you never found me; yep, I’ve still got it.

Finally I took that long list of ours that had every girl from school on it we rated and that if they played their cards right, would get a bit of Coops & Deso. I looked them all up on Facebook and guess what? That list is now not as long as it used to be.

Naturally at that point I finished things (and myself) off with that love beads movie again.

So there you go big boy, a birthday celebration and a half.

I was always borrowing Coops' clothes.