Mr Brown Comes Around

I thought I might lower the tone a little with some toilet humor, literally. Well, it’s funny now but at the time I was well bricking it.

I was on a four hour coaching course the other day and had a pretty good dose of the Sunday shits, so come the morning tea break I made my way down to the one and only toilet for what was by then Part Three of my Sunday blockbuster.

Imagine then, my horror to find only after the paperwork was done that the thing wouldn’t flush! The button on the cistern was jammed down leaving only the little half flush option and it just wasn’t cutting it.

It really is moments like these that the thought crosses your mind ‘How the hell am I going to explain this?!’ knowing full well that there’s two hours of the course to go and 16 guys upstairs who are unlikely to have spent their spare time doing pelvic floor exercises thus giving them exquisite bladder control.

Now forgot about your witnessing a mugging scenario, this really is one of those fight or flee everyday situations. I could’ve legged it and claimed ignorance when somebody else had to break the news that the crapper was crapped out, but I didn’t. I stood and fought that cistern lid till I had it off and that flush button free.

Then I flushed. Dammit did I flush and not since the infamous incident of me soiling my camouflaged y-fronts at Primary school that time have I been so glad to see the brown wash down.

So the lesson here class is two fold;

1. If you have the Sunday shits, don’t go to anything longer than an hour in duration.
2. But if you do always, always check the facilities are working before you answer the knock of Mr Brown at the back door.

As you were.