A Question Of Sport

Football

The new turf has gone up at Wakefield Park and by all accounts it’s epic. It certainly looks the bizzo but for all the rugby markings. I thought rugby players were supposed to be right hard and that spending the entire gaming steaming away in a mud bath was part of that hardness?

Suddenly they all want to play on artificial surfaces now like a right bunch of hairdressers. And to think that they’ve always called us footballers soft. They’ll be wearing long shorts next…

Cycling

The Tour de Pharmacy is underway again and despite awesome pics like this coming out of it we all know that it’s only a matter of time before someone – probably the winner – gets done for doping. I have a theory on drugs in sport; why not simply have two versions of such events, one with the au natural riders and those that admit to take performance enhancing shit?

That way everyone will be on the same page and there can be no disputes about the winner being pumped up on horse tranquillisers or whatever it is they take. They could do the same for the Olympics et al. It would be an interesting exercise if only to see which got the most viewer ship.

Oh and who knew the cyclists don’t even wear so much as a banana hammock under their budgie smugglers aye?

Netball

Now I love the sight of fit young women wearing tight little netball dresses rolling around on the floor as much as the next guy, but the whole Silver Ferns / Australia netball two horse race thing has gotten about as interesting as the Living Channel.

I love the Ferns, even once got to coach them for a day (true story) but there is something imminently boring in them thrashing everybody only to face, yep, you guessed it, the Ossies in the final. Again.

At least win the damn thing girls so it’s you rolling around on the floor, please?